“What It Really Means When You Say, ‘You’re So Pretty’” by Kelly Shepherd

I believe that women deserve to be treated equally to men and shouldn’t be held back by the unspoken “rules” of society. I recognize this because unknowingly, I am judging the girls around me in a way that I am truly ashamed of. I look around me and I see every single girl in this school trying to find her place, whether it is that she wants to be noticed or she wants to be in the background. Both are completely fine, and these girls that I pass in the halls every day are going through things very similar to what I am going through. They should be able to express themselves and figure out who they are without the opinions of those who aren’t entitled to ones affecting the way that they act, dress, or carry themselves. Every girl that I see has a different style and a different way that they carry themselves. While these things may seem completely opposite at times, we are all affected by the media. Every day we hear, “You need to be skinny, but still curvy. Tall but not too tall”, so every single day we look in the mirror and we compare ourselves to the celebrities that we see in the movies, on TV, or on the stage and we look at the body types that are the opposite of our own. What I see around me are girls that change themselves so that they will appear attractive, sexy, or even smart to people that do NOT matter. Our whole lives we grew up hearing “oh you’re so pretty”, which is a kind thing to say; however, this statement causes us girls to think about what makes us cute or pretty rather than things that are more important, like our intelligence.

Women’s bodies are sexualized and we are brought up thinking that we cannot show our skin because it might be taken the wrong way. At school, where we are supposed to be learning how to be accepting and treat others in a way that we want to be treated, there is a dress code that says you cannot show your shoulders. This is only true for women though, I look around and I see guys in muscle shirts, showing their shoulders. Why is it that when a girl shows her shoulders, it might be distracting to our male classmates? These guys that we grow up with only hear that women’s bodies are a distraction and it is our fault for deciding to show our skin. This belief that guys have that the way that we dress makes them irresponsible for their own actions is similar to the reasoning that some rapists have that the girl was “asking for it” because of the outfit that they wore. I am not saying that this is a direct cause and effect relationship because not every guy is a rapist; however, I am stating that men should be held just as accountable for their actions as women are.

Young women grow up seeing unrealistic ideas of beauty everywhere that they look. We try to stay positive and think, “We are perfect just the way we are”, however it is extremely difficult because all over the tabloids and the internet, we see headlines like “How to Lose That Belly Fat” and “Are you Beach Body Ready?”. Society is contradicting itself when they say love yourself then have headlines like this. At the end of the day, women need to be able to express themselves in a way that makes them happy, no matter how society sees them. I believe that if society lets up on the extreme body images portrayed and stops airbrushing models in the magazines, women will be able to feel comfortable in their own skin again.

"This I Believe: A Different Kind of Princess" by Nina

This December, Advanced Composition students studied, wrote, and recorded audio essays. Students wrote and recorded their own "This I Believe" essays inspired by the weekly This I Believe Podcast. While we're publishing the text of each essay below, we strongly encourage you to listen to each student's audio essay for a more intimate experience.

Growing up, my childhood was highly influenced by Disney films. The princesses and princes, the castles, the dresses; it was all a dream come true. I fantasized day and night about making fairy tales like those come to life. I dreamed about one day finding my Prince Charming and moving far, far away where he and I could live happily ever after, but that wasn't the case.

My childhood was a breeze. No cares in the world and free to feel and think whatever I wanted. There was no judgment and everyone got along. During elementary school, I was determined to live out my fairy tale fantasy. Seems foolish, I know, but at that time I was ignorant and gullible. I was under the impression that women were meant to find love at a young age. Once middle school came around, I was totally ready for love. I met this boy. He was tall, brown haired and blue eyed with a radiant smile. I knew I had found him; my one true love. When I confessed my love for him he responded with, "I'm sorry, but I don't like fat girls".

Numb. That’s what I was. That’s what I was feeling. It were those few words that broke my heart and scarred me for life. It had never occurred to me that my weight would be a factor in whether loving me was okay. Looking back, I'd always known the prince falling for the princess for her generosity and genuinely kind soul. After further observation, it was clear that every single princess that had been swept off her feet was not only kind and generous, but thin and beautiful.

Ever since that day, I'd question my whole belief system. What was beauty? Why am I not considered beautiful? My soul was crushed and I didn't know how to heal. I spent the rest of my middle school years trying to change my appearance. I experimented with all kinds of fashion styles and cosmetic products but that didn't change how I looked and felt underneath. I needed a drastic change. I tried working out, but I would begin to feel discouraged when I didn't see results. At this point, I was desperate. I began starving myself. I avoided eating at all costs and when I did, I'd forcefully vomit to rid my body of the empty carbs. Because of this sick obsession, I developed an eating disorder.

You may ask yourself, "How crazy would someone have to be to put their health in jeopardy"? Well, I acted without reasonable thinking and I didn't consider the subsequent consequences. It’s insane to think that because of one thing someone said to me 5 years ago, I’d be suffering from a long and life-threatening disorder. I was so infatuated with this idea of falling in love, that I blinded missed the actual meaning of it. What is love anyway? And why is it so damn appealing?  My definition back then was that regardless of your personality, you must be physically attractive in order to be loved. However, through the course of my disorder and treatment, I’ve learned that love is when you can be yourself, inside and out, and that special someone will appreciate you for being you.

I had always thought that if I had a beautiful face and a thinner body figure, then I’d find someone to love me, but I was completely wrong. Today, I am a 17 year old recovering bulimic and I believe that, while I’m not the thinnest girl in the world, I still deserve a happily ever after. I battled through some of the toughest obstacles anyone could ever endure in a lifetime, but it’s made me who I am and I’m grateful for it everyday. And even though I may never find my prince charming, or live in a palace far, far away, my life had always kind of been a fairy tale.  It’s a different Disney story and I’m a different kind of princess.

"Spark" by Cadence Sinclair

Every human is a spark.

When we love, we fly.

When we cry, we simmer.

When we scream, we explode.

But after all is said and done,

The world is simply a spinning jumble

Of awakening and dying sparks

All at once,

All for only a delicate flash of time.