Tuesday, November 20, 2012

"Leaving" by August Rain

Leaving. The word itself has so many different meanings depending on how you use it. You could be leaving home for the morning; for school. You could be leaving your home for good. You could be leaving your family.

In my mind, everyone leaves eventually, and though it's a bittersweet fact, the sooner one comes to terms with it, the easier it becomes along the road. It's an inevitable, therefore it's been a topic deemed as an 'unspeakable'. It's a sad subject that most people would rather avoid, since it's only human nature to build bonds with different things and people. The thought of leaving is one of the scarier truths of human life.

I, for one, like the idea of leaving.

I think it was back in April of this year when I first started really thinking about this subject. My grandfather had just passed away, and I had always been very close to him, so to see him leave right in front of my eyes, it got me thinking. If everyone leaves, if it's so natural, why don't people talk more about it? Why aren't there more books about it where it isn't portrayed as the worst part of someone's life? So that's what started my current piece.

In a story I'm currently writing, the main character deals with the idea of leaving all the time, at the end feeling it is the better decision. I guess it's the thought of freeing yourself from...anything and everything. Venturing outside your comfort zone, whether it's forced or not. Finding a new land, and society, starting fresh with a clean slate, it all sounds so perfect sometimes, no matter how hard it might be.

To me, 'leaving' and 'starting over' have become synonyms, though that's not the case with everyone. It's a scary thought, I know that. But when you're really scared of something, the best way to get over it is to go out and do it, or else, you'll live your life wondering why you were so scared of it. But it's so scary it's almost seductive, that you can't help but wonder about it, and get so close to actually leaving but you don't. You don't leave. You don't let go of what you've made, who you've met, who you've lost, everything you've worked for, gone in an instant. It's understandable why no one would want to leave that comfort of their life. But if there is any constant throughout life, it is change. Everything changes and so do you along with it.

So it's really 'change or be changed' or even 'leave or be left'. You can choose, but either way, everyone's going to leave, and so are you.

But once the initial terror subsides, you have something so pure, so untouched that proves to be a greater help than you think, because leaving isn't all that bad.

Once you get used to it, of course.

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