"Warm Delights in the Fantasy Department (Awkward)" by Bruce Steppes

            A student named Willard gloriously walked out of the boy’s restroom after releasing tension that had lingered in his stomach the entire day. He passed a few pupils who suddenly became ill as he yanked the doors open to the librare. Willard bent down to quickly tie his shoes, and found himself standing between a couple who were passionately staring into each other’s eyes. Pretending to blend in with the bookcase, his whale like eyes surveyed the premises and stopped to find bare and frigid shelves of fiction-less books. The couple had not even noticed the sour smell that had lingered in the air surrounding them. 

"Tarzan Toddler" by Bruce Steppes

My first memory I can recall happened when my mom took me and my three sisters to Kings Dominion for a family day trip. While sitting in my car seat sucking on a pacifier, I was excitedly watching my six and nine year old sisters wrestle each other for their new "Bop It" toy. My oldest sister, who was eighteen at the time, was sitting in the passenger seat blasting her headphones. As a legal adult, I'm sure she had zero patience for her kid sisters. I frowned upon being confined in a car seat, but I never let a simple seat belt keep me from having fun.

I'll admit, I was a girl version of Tarzan, and the car was my jungle. I remember my mom assigning a job to one of my sisters to make sure I stayed put. I'm sure at three I tried negotiating something with whoever was in charge. Since I was the youngest of four girls, I wanted to do all the fun things my older sisters got to do. I still tried, and I was guilty of most of my escapes because I was the ultimate busy body.

I did not believe in being still, and the fact that I knew we were on our way to the theme park made my case even more severe. My mom was forced to constantly look through her rear view mirror to make sure I was in my car seat, instead of in the trunk somewhere.

After about three hours of a painful car ride, my mom pulled into the Kings Dominion parking lot. After we got situated, we headed towards the park to start the fun. Cotton candy, funnel cake, and candy apples swirled in the air, making me more excited. We had a blast riding on the amusement rides and taking pictures with kid cartoons.

Towards the end of the day, we headed to the lazy river. We got changed in our bathing suits and we each grabbed a water tube. My mom of course stoppped me in my tracks and exchanged my tube for a turtle floatie that was uncomfortably larger than I was. I wiggled my way into the river and sat there like a duck while my sisters were freely splashing around.

Even though I did not always get my way, I had a blast with my family. Overall, it was a really great day.