My writing is holding up a magnifying glass to the intricacies of the world around us. Writing throughout my life has given me the ability to explore the more analytical side of my thoughts that are constantly trying to find some deeper meaning of a text. It allows me to breathe life into my thoughts, something that wouldn’t happen if they were just spoken. Writing frees my thoughts from the confines of my brain and puts them out into the open for the world to see.
The things that make writing fun for me is being able to make people think deeply about something that they only see the surface of. Instead of them snorkeling at sea level, I want them to be able to dive 300 ft under with scuba gear. Snorkeling at sea level is like reading the text without thinking about what the author wants you to see, while diving under the water shows you how much more there is to see. This diving under is the deep examination of a text, in which you can finally understand what the author wants you to see, and more. This analysis happens only with either slow and deliberate reading of a text or the repeated reading of it. There is so much more detail in every piece of text that you read that very few people notice or can see. The ocean that I let the readers of my analysis explore starts at the glowing keyboard in my poorly-lit, always chilly basement room. The environment surrounding me affects my writing process tremendously. Small things like the keyboard I am using being uncomfortable to use throw me off focus, chatter between people has the same effect. Almost every paper, report, journal, short story, or note that I have written has been one of two keyboards for almost 6 years. I never have any kind of music playing in the background while I work, only the sounds of the keys going click and clack, and the sounds of my brain attempting to put my jumbled thoughts into coherent sentences on a screen.
Sadly one of the things that make writing difficult for me is the premise of writing for a grade. Even this assignment, one which I thought I would enjoy writing, has put me off and caused me to procrastinate it’s completion on the basis of that it will end up as a letter or number in a grade book that I check at minimum 5 times a week. That letter or number will either make me feel good or bad about what I wrote, and then I move on. Depending on what that grade book says, I take two very different courses of action. One involves the possibility of a relatively high grade on this paper, the other involves the possibility of a low score. With a high score on this paper, I see that this boosts my overall grade and I become complacent. I feel satisfied with the work I’ve done and never again think about the contents of this paper. If I receive a low score however, my mind focuses on every possibility I have to soften the blow of this low score through extra work, late work, missing assignments, and so on. These are all distractions from my writing, especially that which is not school assigned writing. All in all, these forced assignments will always take me away from my writing, no matter the outcome or score. This explanation of endeavors in our education system works to describe many tasks if you replace the word “paper” with assignment.
These restrictions on my writing make me feel as though I am not a writer myself. I do feel that I have grown since writing Harry Potter universe short stories, and that I have become more adept at being able to show the reader how I think and feel about certain things. However writing is sadly not one of my main priorities in my day to day life, nor is it something I could easily make a priority without changing the way I live my life. One day, after high school and after college, I hope to be able to find the time to fit writing into my day to day and to be able to express all of my ideas in a way that is enjoyable to many. Only then would I feel that I am a writer. At this point in my life, I cannot bring myself to say so.