I remember being a kid in elementary
school, the pure simplicity of it. I lived in my own perfect little world where
my biggest problem was whether or not I could go out and play before dinner.
Nothing was a big deal. If I had a bad day, I would go to bed and wake the next
morning having completely forgotten the travesty. I didn’t care that I wore
mismatched ensembles or that I had goofy chopped bangs. All I needed to have
fun was my best friend and my cul-de-sac.
I remember
being in middle school, going through the usual transitions. My world had
gotten bigger. I had some more homework, and there were a lot of new people I
had to meet. I learned that some of them didn’t want to be my friend. I was
first chair in the middle school orchestra, and proud of it. I didn’t have to
work too hard for it, I did my daily 20 minute practises and that would be
that. When I had problems I’d get pretty upset. I accused myself of being
worthless and not good enough. I noticed that I looked different from all the
other girls. They wore tight jeans and tops showing off their assets and had
shiny hair and wore makeup. I wore baggy shirts, cargo pants, and pulled my
hair into a ponytail on a daily basis. On special occasions I wore lip balm.
This began to bother me. And my cul-de-sac seemed a lot smaller.
I remember
being a freshman in high school. My world was suddenly huge, and college was
now looming over my head like a formidable raincloud. On the first day of high
school, a cute boy sat across from me. He was nice to me. I decided I wanted
him to like me. I started paying more attention to my clothes and my hair, even
putting on makeup. I was still in orchestra, but I was first chair of the
second violin section and the music had gotten harder. 20 minute practises were
no longer sufficient. Between school, boys, and violin, I was busy. I no longer
wanted to play in my cul-de-sac. I just wanted to do all the things that I
didn’t have enough money to do. I had so many more problems. Freshman year was
tough.
In life,
you start as a carefree child, ready to take on the world. As you grow up, your
innocence slowly melts away and you see all the hardships in life. Sometimes
your outlook grows bleak. I know that mine certainly did; I was in a downward
spiral.
I remember
how sophomore year changed me. I’m not sure what happened, but somehow I made
friends. Good friends. They gave me something else to focus on. Even though
school made life miserable sometimes, I knew that I had fun times with friends
ahead to look forward to.
Now, I’m a
junior. I know that that doesn’t mean I’ve seen everything and it certainly
doesn’t mean I know everything. But I do understand something important. I
understand that life can be rough, but it can be fun as well. You can’t dwell
on the bad parts, or else they’ll seem even worse. Instead, you need to focus
on the good parts. Thinking about the good parts will carry you through the bad
with less pain. The quality of your life doesn’t depend on what happens to you,
it depends on how you deal with it. When you’re given a challenge do you step
up and face it, or do you cry because life isn’t fair? That choice can make
your life either great or miserable.
Instead of
looking back at myself in middle school and being ashamed of who I was, I’m
thankful for it. I’m where I’ve gotten because of the choices that person made.
To tell you the truth, I’m happy with my life right now and I wouldn’t have
wanted it to turn out any other way.
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