"I Remember" by Victoria Lemmings

I remember playing hide and seek when I was only five years old. I would always hide behind the white curtains in my dining room, and in my mind I was pretty much invisible. My dad would walk past me numerous times in his search and pretend he was absolutely dismayed by what a “great hider” I was. Looking back, I know now that he was lying, but at the time, it made me feel like a pro. I remember eating breakfast with my mom right before my first day of kindergarten, starting at a brand new school. I had eggs and a bagel, which I almost threw up out of nervousness. I remember when my cat died when I was eight years old and I cried all day. I didn’t understand why pets should be allowed to leave and it was so unfair that I didn’t get so say goodbye. I remember playing outside as a kid when fall had just started and the leaves had begun to fall. My dad and I raked up every leave in my spacious yard, and I could have sworn that our leaf pile was a mile wide. I would propel myself off our old rope swing and dive into the mounds upon mounds of yellow and brown leaves. It was always the highlight of my autumns. I remember once I was messing around with my brothers while standing on a plastic red wagon in our kitchen. Before I had time to react the wheels had slipped, and I found myself crying on my cold kitchen floor. Sharp jolts of pain jolted up my arm, and it was probably the worst agony I had felt in my life up to that point. My nine year old self sobbed all the way to the doctors. I was wearing my new Franklin the Turtle pajamas. They were pink. I remember in fourth grade I had a massive crush on this boy in my class and I whispered about him at recess to my BFF. I remember I became good friends with this boy in sixth grade and then I thought it was gross that I had ever liked him in the first place. Silly fourth grader me! I remember on the first day of middle school, I came home and cried because I didn’t have any friends in any of my classes. I remember on the last day of middle school, I came home and cried because I was going to miss all my numbers of friends over the long summer months. I remember starting high school and being a dorky freshman. Once a senior ran into me in the hallway, and it was just about the scariest thing that’s ever happened. I remember getting my first D on a test and thinking that my life was over, and I shouldn’t even try in school anymore. Stupid biology. I was actually so upset over that grade, but looking back, I deserved it considering I honestly did not study one bit. I remember having painful fallouts with a number of my friends because of dumb fights over dumb things. I remember making a whole new set of nicer friends and accepting that things don’t always stay the same. Over time, I have changed so much, but I’m happy with how I’ve turned out. I remember all these things that may have been positive or negative at the time, but in reflection, define who I am and who I’ve grown up to be. And I think I’ve turned out okay.