"Request My Love: A Collection of Terrible Love Poems" by Casanova

I asked people to give me prompts to write love poems about.  The prompts could be anything from Pokemon to The DMV.  My challenge was to write a poem in the “Roses are red, violets are blue…” format about that subject.  This is the end result.  It’s a collection of love poems- really terrible love poems.

“Writing Center”

Our logo is red,

don’t let writing make you blue!

Come to the Writing Center,

We tutor any kind of paper! English, History, Math, etc.

The sign-up sheet is at the top of the library stairs,

so come on in!

Note from the author: Yes, this is a shameless self promotion, and no it didn’t rhyme because rhyming is hard.

 “Custom Ringtone” (Write a poem about having a custom ringtone for your bf/gf/crush.)

Roses are red,

I hope you like Bruno Mars,

Treasure! That is what you are,

honey you’re my golden star!

“Breaking Bad”

Blood is red,

My methamphetamine rocks.

My name is Walter White,

I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS.

“Science Fair”

Our display board should be red.

No, it should be blue!

Our experiment was a trainwreck!

THIS IS DUE TOMORROW?

WHY DID I CHOOSE TO WORK WITH YOU?!

Note: Don’t even pretend this wasn’t your science fair experience.

“Toxic Waste”

The roses are dead,

the violets are glowing blue.

I’m dying from radiation exposure,

but it’s worth it for you… (I think.)

“The DMV”

Roses are red,

this place makes me blue,

I’ve been in line for two hours,

Don’t smile for this picture of you.

“Statistics”

Wrong answers are red,

My grade makes me blue.

I’m failing this class, but that’s okay,

Because you, my love, are too.

“Loneliness”

Chocolate boxes are red,

Netflix is also red.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is my valentine,

Because NOBODY LOVES ME.

P.S. I ate this entire chocolate box, please send help and maybe a stomach pump.

“Satan”

You are red,

my passion for you burns blue.

Your heart for my soul,

is the deal I made with you.

“Headphones”

One ear bud is red,

One ear bud is blue,

Why did we share our music at the same time?

Polka and reggae don’t go together.

“Pokemon”

Charmander is red.

Squirtle is blue.

But you must be Bulbasaur,

because no one will choose you.

“Robots”

My eyes are red,

your eyes are blue.

You make my CPU overheat with passion,

because I can’t compute how much I love you.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!