Friday, February 28, 2014

"Writer's Block, Tho?" by Percival Brendan Williams the Third

Writing about writer's block could mean that I don't have writer's block, but that is entirely false.

Let us begin by defining what exactly is this mysterious phenomenon called "writer's block." I would like to begin by saying it isn’t a random wooden block that writers all over the world own. According to Wikipedia (which is undeniably a reliable source), "Writer's block is a condition, primarily associated with writing, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work." Well, that completely contradicts the first sentence of this very... thing. Scratch what I said earlier, Wikipedia is a filthy liar. Don't use it, kids.

If writer's block was only the inability to produce new work, then no one would suffer from it. If that was the true definition of writer's block, then I wouldn't:

1.      Stop every three words to knit a few stitches
2.      Go on Facebook to play word games
3.      Check YouTube for the umpteenth time to see if anyone posted a new video
4.      Refresh my Twitter feed
5.      Wander into the kitchen in search for food even though I just finished breakfast
6.      Actually do homework
7.      Sleep


You get my point.

Experiencing writer's block is like being a hamster who is just running on his little wheel. He's just stuck there, running for the rest of eternity, but still in that silly cage. Seeing as that you probably aren't a hamster, here's another image. Imagine being stuck in a corridor. A circular corridor. And you just walk and walk and walk. You know you've been walking in the same corridor for the last 3 weeks, but you just can't find the exit. How much do you want to bet that you would consider yourself insane after 3 hours in that corridor?

And that's what writer's block actually is. Walking a circular corridor, knowing you have an important doctor's appointment, and not knowing where the door is. Chances are that you're going to collapse in the middle of the hallway and just cry. Like a baby. Writer’s block is knowing you have things to say, but the words just aren't coming out. You’re a writer, of course you have things to write about. The world is your inspiration. But sometimes, there’s a block. It’s like a car crash during rush hour or a clot in your veins or trying to picture a new color. Basically, it is a bad thing that nobody in their right minds would actually enjoy.

There are few cures for writer’s block. The only thing you can do about it is continue to live, I guess. Writing is a product of living. If you let this writer’s block take over your life, you might as well make hot chocolate without chocolate while you’re at it. Sometimes, all you really need is to forget about writing. Go sit in a coffee shop and just people watch. Or go for a swim. Put your pen down (or turn the computer off). That’s all you can do, and that’s all you really have to do.

Now go on, my little writer. And write. (That was an awful ending. This is the result of writer’s block, ladies and gentlemen.)

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