Friday, January 8, 2016

"My Day as a Dog" by Raekwon Tha Chef

My oh my… that behind on that Rottweiler
I pee on what I want, some call me a colonizer
I chase tails and balls all around the house
But I am not a cat, so I will not catch that mouse
When my human leaves the house I begin to cry out
And on special occasions I will sleep on the couch
I love it when the humans rub and scratch
And the best feeling is finding that perfect patch of grass
Some people say I am the human’s best friend
Because I will guard the house from mailmen to the earth’s end
When I sleep I cannot hold back those innocent toots
And when my butt itches I cannot help but to scoot
In the art of pottey training, I have been tutored
But I am no longer alpha, for I have been neutered
Whenever I roll over, I will receive a treat I have been told
But I always get frostbite because my nose is cold
Sometimes I am punished because I am a dirty slob

But I know my human will always love me, because I am his dog


  1. Cool Poem. If you like stories written from the canine perspective and you haven't already heard of "Chet the Dog" you should check out some of the writings of Spencer Quinn

  2. Fun to read, Raekwon. It is clear from your writing that you have a dog and understand their little canine idiosyncracies. Animal-lovers, especially folks with dogs will like this and identify with it.


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