Friday, May 6, 2016

"My College Roomate: Adolf" by Junie B. Jones

Adolf? Yeah, we roomed together back in college. He was an alright guy—except for all the talk about world domination. It got a little old. He had all these maps hung up with thumb tacks to plan out his “strategy”. He would be up for hours trying to “perfect” his strategy. I thought it was some quirky assignment for a class of his or a game he played with some friends, like Risk or Battleship. I had no idea he was planning actual world domination.

He always seemed so innocent and sweet. He would bring breakfast on Saturday mornings after he went on a run. He even helped me out with my Literature class! We’d read Shakespeare plays and act them out, but he promised me to never tell people so that they wouldn’t think he was any less tough. He played a really good Hamlet… retrospectively it’s probably because he had so much hidden angst though!

He had even written a book about his plans—he gave me a signed copy, but I just use it now as a glorified coaster.

As far as roommates go, I can’t complain. He was pretty clean and pragmatic—a lot of people liked him. He had lots of friends who would go to him for advice. He was your classic “confidant”—a modern day Jane Eyre. He did, however, treat some people pretty awful. I only saw it a few times when we were out walking around the streets and would see people from another country that wasn’t European. Now that I think of it, he was pretty wishy-washy… he must have been a Gemini!


Adolf turned out to be a tough guy. He caused a lot of pain and destruction. His innocent, sweet childish ways were all a mask to his true, evil ways. I wish I had seen the signs, but he always had been so sweet to me. Then again I am light-haired with blue eyes…

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