It starts
One word
One phrase
Or years and years of
pressure created by the one
Whos currently cracking
Breaking under the
stress it has produced.
The years of As
The years of sticking
every dismount
The years of “you are so
perfect”
Finally adding up to a
young girl
Upset,
Stressed,
Overworked,
Exhausted.
Wanting to live up to
the expectations
Wanting to be who they
want you to be,
But slowly
Without you even
noticing,
They are no longer the
ones who want you to be one way or another
It's you.
It’s you
It’s you
You want to be perfect
Because you are used to
it
Because without it,
You feel unworthy.
You did everything you
could as a child.
Everyone noticed,
You noticed
But now life isn’t so
simple,
No longer can you get
all A’s,
No longer can you stick
the dismount,
No longer do they say
“You’re so perfect”
What they don’t realize
is by stopping their expectations for you
They are only fueling
your own expectations.
You want it back,
You want to hear that
you are enough.
But even when your
mother tells you everyday that
You are enough,
Even when your Dad tells
you everyday that
He is proud of you
You yearn for more
You’ve fallen into the
rabbit hole
Surrounded only by your
misguided insecurities
And your evil
expectations,
You feel alone.
They don’t understand
you anymore,
You know in your heart
that you’ll feel better if
You just fix yourself
and everything you do wrong
You pick up some new
habits,
You twirl your hair,
You bite your nails,
You can’t sit still
Your mind is on the run
You never sleep,
Each night your mind
brings back every single mistake
Every single word you’ve
said
Soon you are filled with
regret
For everything you said
For everything you’ve
ever done
You cry yourself to
sleep every night,
But your dreams are no
escape,
You dream of everything
that could happen
You dream of deaths
You wake up in tears.
A cycle of tears.
A cycle of pain.
A cycle for perfection.
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