Friday, May 19, 2017

"Glass Floor" by Kelly Shepherd

It’s never enough.
Walking on a glass floor that is cracking
The cracks are spreading
Spreading like the pain

Each crack that grows,
Each break in the glass,
Makes everything unstable.
Everything unsure.

The floor gets weaker,
Each footstep as though it was a
Hitting the floor with tremendous force
Forceful every step of the way

The cracks are growing
The tension is building
Every step closer to the absolute break.

The shards are falling
Just keep pretending
Tiptoe along the cracks
Try to fix the holes.

Glass is so clear.
So perfect when it is new

Cover the cracks,
Hide the pain,
They can’t see.
They can’t know.

Convince yourself that the stabbing pain
The stabbing pain that consumes your every thought
Is just a bunch of nonsense
It’s all in your head

But your head is getting tired

The stabbing pain of the glass slipping,
And the way your mind keeps gripping
Onto the unrealistic expectations
That you have for yourself

You say that it is nothing
You say that the glass is still new
That the glass isn’t a mess
That you aren’t a mess

The glass is shards away from falling down
The footsteps increase in strength,
Your mind becomes exhausted.
Your band aids didn’t work and now they know.

They know you aren’t perfect.
They say it’s okay,
But you just see the pity.
It hurts worse than the glass.

The floor falls through,
And down you go,
You try to grab onto the ledges on the way down
But it’s just more slippery glass.

Falling, falling down.
The glass slide is no help.
You see the end.
You see the pile of glass waiting for you.

Waiting at the bottom is the taunting glass shards
They spell out your worst fear
“You aren’t enough,
You’ve never been enough.”

Trying desperately to escape,
You look through the glass,
You see the faces of the ones you love.
You see the faces of the ones who love you.

You see your strong, beautiful mom
In tears.
She whispers through the pain,
“You promised.”

Suddenly you are snapped back to the present.
Your mom crying,
She sees your pain,
You caused her her pain.

You see in her eyes that she knows.
She knows what you were about to do,
She sees the glass in your hands,
And just like the glass, she breaks.

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