"Glass Floor" by Kelly Shepherd

It’s never enough.

Walking on a glass floor that is cracking

The cracks are spreading

Spreading like the pain

Each crack that grows,

Each break in the glass,

Makes everything unstable.

Everything unsure.

The floor gets weaker,

Each footstep as though it was a

Sledgehammer,

Hitting the floor with tremendous force

Forceful every step of the way

The cracks are growing

The tension is building

Every step closer to the absolute break.

The shards are falling

Just keep pretending

Tiptoe along the cracks

Try to fix the holes.

Glass is so clear.

So perfect when it is new

Unstained,

Unbroken,

Perfect.

Cover the cracks,

Hide the pain,

They can’t see.

They can’t know.

Convince yourself that the stabbing pain

The stabbing pain that consumes your every thought

Is just a bunch of nonsense

It’s all in your head

But your head is getting tired

The stabbing pain of the glass slipping,

And the way your mind keeps gripping

Onto the unrealistic expectations

That you have for yourself

You say that it is nothing

You say that the glass is still new

That the glass isn’t a mess

That you aren’t a mess

The glass is shards away from falling down

The footsteps increase in strength,

Your mind becomes exhausted.

Your band aids didn’t work and now they know.

They know you aren’t perfect.

They say it’s okay,

But you just see the pity.

It hurts worse than the glass.

The floor falls through,

And down you go,

You try to grab onto the ledges on the way down

But it’s just more slippery glass.

Falling, falling down.

The glass slide is no help.

You see the end.

You see the pile of glass waiting for you.

Waiting at the bottom is the taunting glass shards

They spell out your worst fear

“You aren’t enough,

You’ve never been enough.”

Trying desperately to escape,

You look through the glass,

You see the faces of the ones you love.

You see the faces of the ones who love you.

You see your strong, beautiful mom

In tears.

She whispers through the pain,

“You promised.”

Suddenly you are snapped back to the present.

Your mom crying,

She sees your pain,

You caused her her pain.

You see in her eyes that she knows.

She knows what you were about to do,

She sees the glass in your hands,

And just like the glass, she breaks.