Friday, May 3, 2013

"The Psycho-Maniac and the Pizza Man" by Nathan Herring

Note: Victoria Lemmings and Nathan Herring wrote this story together from the perspectives of the two characters. This version should be read after Victoria Lemmings' version.


I sit in silence as I watch David Stranford stumble down the dark street and up my cracked driveway in his red and white shirt, matching hat and khaki shorts.  His brown hair bobbing up and down as I watch his green eyes dart from side to side and his pizza teetering in his right hand. He shivers.  I grin at his pain and rock in my rocking chair a little faster. He’s scared. Good. He deserves it.  After all this time, my plan has finally come to pass.  He hesitantly inches up the black, beat-up driveway before finally reaching the front step. He knocks on the door, and I leave my perch.    

            I run as fast as I can to set up for the fun with a grin I can’t wipe off my face.  I dash down the creaky steps passing all the old dusty photos of the family that lived here some fifty odd years ago.  Their old house serves my purpose perfectly. David will surely feel pain today. I take the body bag out of the closet under the stairs.  As I unzip the black plastic covering, I smile at her, and do my daily greeting.  I lay the body down a few feet in front of the door and I kneel down next to her and brush her hair back.  My hands tremble and I hold them till they stop.  This is it.  We can finally be together in peace. Then I lean in towards her cold dead lips for the kiss. “BANG, BANG, BANG,” the weak, once white door rattles.  David. Always ruining everything.  Well not for long!  Today he will pay.  He will pay with his screams and with the free pizza he brought me.  I’m not paying!  I tiptoe to the door and slowly creak it open.  As I open it I causally hang behind it… hoping and praying he doesn’t look back when he comes in.  I can feel my eyes light up with excitement.  It’s starting!  David hesitates, but curiosity takes over.  I can hear him coming inside and taking the first few steps onto the rotting wood floor. Everything is set.  Every little detail is perfect.  I’m ready.  The floorboards creak with anticipation as I wonder how long it will take him to notice her.  He takes in his surroundings, looking for someone, anyone.  He approaches my darling and tries to decipher what she could be.  The dim light from the streetlamp across the street, isn’t exactly enough to see much.  He touches her hair and screams. Game time.  I take the old vase with half-a-century-old stems withered up inside and smack it straight across the back of David’s head.  The echoing shattering rings in my ears as he falls to the ground with a painful thud.  I laugh.  I laugh like I’ve never laughed before.  I laugh almost like a Psycho-Maniac might. 
            So now I have two cold bodies on my hands.  Ugh, the strug-life.  I take my sweet, sweet Anna back in her place to sleep for the night.  I whisper her goodnight and a thank you for her help before zipping her up and taking care of the filthy creature behind me.  I drag him to into the kitchen and down into the basement. 
The cold cement floor stings my bare feet as I reach the bottom of the steps.  The smell of mold is unmistakable.  I quickly set to work and zip tie him to the only piece of furniture down here, a single metal chair.  Of course I bolted it to the floor, though.  David wakes. Time for the show.
“David Stranford. Well, well, well. Fancy seeing you here,” I chuckle gleefully.  He stares at me stunned that I know his name. “You deliver pizzas. In fact, you’ve been delivering pizzas for twelve years.” He begins to breathe heavily.  His left leg nervously taps on the cold ground. I see his scream coming from a mile away.   I slap him and shut him up.  “At my tenth birthday party, you brought us pizza. That was supposed to be the biggest day of my life. Anna Jones was at that party. Do you know how big of a crush I had on Anna Jones? Do you!?”  David stares too scared to say anything.  The blood flowing out of his head made me pity him so I decide not to tell him that Anna was upstairs dead because I had killed her that night when she told me to never look at her again.  I had loved her too much to let her go.  I become angry and I let my rage take over.  My eyes roll back and I scream, “The pizza you gave us at my tenth birthday party gave us food poisoning. Betchya didn’t know that, did you? Anna Jones threw up six times that afternoon. She went home crying. You ruined my chances with her with your filthy, disgusting pizza. And now, this is me getting revenge.”  With my raw throat, I stomp across the floor to the pizza box laying there.  I pick it up and scream as I run full speed at David who seems to have blacked out.  I stop right in front of him and he returns to consciousness.  His eyes are wide with fear and he’s holding his breath. The smell of his sweat fills my nostrils as I shriek, “Eat it!”

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