Friday, May 2, 2014

"Beware: Dangerous Equipment Resides in this Purse" by Wesley Meeks

I was lying on the blacktop while Charlotte leaned over her seat cracking up while she watched me. I’m sure it was an interesting site to witness; I was flailing around on the ground moaning and groaning about the traumatic experience I had just encountered and how I was pretty sure my best friend attempted to kill me. It is possible that some might say my reaction was overdramatic but to me, at the time, my actions seemed completely justified.

Our night began at 9:00 pm right after Charlotte picked me up from my place after she got out of work. She had the munchies and as past experiences have dictated you can’t allow your best friend to feel like a pig and stuff her face alone so we were quick to head to the best place we know for junk food together: Mellow Mushroom. We had our fill of pizza and soft pretzels and at my persistence the Mary Jane Brownie, which despite its namesake that gives a nod to 70’s hippie culture, is honestly just a brownie with ice cream and whipped cream on top. Afterwards we figured out who had to pay what and we sluggishly left the restaurant with sore stomachs and regrets.

Driving back the food began to take effect. Other than giving us tummy aches the strange thing about Charlotte and I is that we are most rambunctious after we have just eaten a ton of food, especially me. I’m not sure why and it could just be the sugar working its way through out system but  I sadly think it might be due to the fact that it is the most rebellious thing we ever do together and it makes us feel extremely hard-core. Either way, despite feeling sick to the stomach and overstuffed we felt pretty alighted in a tired, weird kind of way.

We sat in the parking lot near the entrance of where I lived listening to Country Music and talking about anything we could think of. It had been a while since Charlotte and I last hung out so we had a lot to catch up on. I was in the middle of describing the latest Pokémon game I was playing. I recently learned how to use hacks on the GBA4ios app on my phone and I was really excited about it; she was not. While she nodded and “mhhmed” in all of the right places she could care less about the game and seemed a little distracted. All of a sudden she looked over and asked if I wanted to see what her boyfriend got her. I was expecting it to be something nice and sweet like maybe flowers or chocolate, typical lovey-dovey stuff, so imagine my surprise when she excitedly whipped out a taser! She turned it on, the blue lights flashed, the device buzzed, and I freaked out.

When showing your friend a taser, or any dangerous equipment in fact, I think there are certain rules of decorum that should be followed. The first: do not turn it on in a tight space. Sitting in the car there was barely any room to escape and to make it worse the blue lights were pointed down and flashing near my left leg so I did the only logical thing. I grabbed the handle of the door and threw myself out of the car. I read about this before in psychology; it was the fight or flight response and I was not going to fight.

That night I ended up lying on the blacktop with my best friend laughing at me trying to get a picture or capture it on film. I felt like a star on a horribly made YouTube video intended to be funny but wasn’t really at all. The only thing I could think of a moment was, Beware: Dangerous equipment resides in this purse and while this girl might seem sweet and innocent, she will take you down. 

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