Friday, May 16, 2014

The Treat Connoisseurs of 5th Period

Note: This exercise was inspired by this article in the New York Times' Dining and Wine Section.


Fleur de Sel Salted Caramel by Lola Lane
A smooth baby’s bottom, freshly powdered and cleansed. A sticky summer’s day given life by succulent watermelon and the endless outdoor possibilities.  The mouth-watering sensation you feel as you scroll through a tumblr page of Ryan Gosling wearing limited clothes. Satisfying like the blast of air conditioning that saves you from the clutches of a 100-degree, middle of July, summer day.  Fleur de Sel Salted Caramel:  experience life. 

Sea Salt and Turbinado Sugar Dark Chocolate Covered Almonds by August Rain
It’s the unexpected. The person you never would’ve believed would ever mean so much to you. It’s life and death wrapped together. Two opposites coming together, making up your universe. It’s the bitter taste that the day leaves in your mouth, washed away by the sweet relief of your bed in the early morning hours. It’s the beginning and the end melted together, the moment that makes the rest of week worth every struggle. 

Horseradish Cheddar Potato Chips by Bear Force One
It’s just another regular day of your ordinary life as you open up a bag of generic, stale chips to eat away at your boredom. But suddenly, the Cheddar God himself, sitting upon a golden majestic stallion with nostrils flaring and eyes wild, bursts through the ceiling and ropes you away to the land of infinite flavor. Angered by your transgressions against all that is good taste, he flings you down a mountain steeper than the Space Needle itself and summons a raging and violent wave of gooey-goodness cheese and fiery wasabi tall enough to blot out the sun. The fear and trepidation you feel as you plunge in a near free-fall combines with pounding adrenaline and an overwhelming sense of exhilaration as the delicious wave of spice and nice washes over you. As suddenly as you came into this world, you come back out, somehow teleporting and landing gently and smoothly right onto your familiar couch. In front of you, an unmistakable yellow – Horseradish Cheddar Chips. Come on, take a chance, make your day special.

Fleur de Sel Salted Caramel by Casanova
One bite, and suddenly you are transported to a world of lovely caramel goodness. A clean cut, attractive man approached you, he smoothly sits down beside you. “Hello…” his voice is as calming as the ocean breeze. You can tell he’s sweet, the kind of man who’d bring you flowers, just because. Everything around you is soft, it’s like being wrapped in your favorite bed sheets, and the warm embrace of a man. That, is Fleur de Sel Caramel.

Cowboy Bark by Adrenaline
A beautiful young woman is walking down the beach. She’s wearing a flowing silk dress and her hair is blowing in the wind. She wears no shoes and you close your eyes to feel the soft sand beneath her feet. It’s so soft and warm, yet you can feel each of the individual grains beneath your feet as though they are part of you. You open your eyes and are terrified. You see a huge wave is about to crash down over her. The water must be from the deepest depths of the ocean because it looks almost black. Then she turns to it and it’s frozen, turned into ice midwave. She turns to you and beckons with her small, delicate hand. You go and as you near her you turn to the waves and touch them. Out of curiosity, you break off a piece and put it to your lips. It’s crunchy and you can taste the salt of the black sea. This is eating cowboy bark.  

Gummy Tummy Penguins by Platonic Soulmate
A field of green with busy buzzing bees at work. Chewing your favorite flavor of gum while licking the frosting off the top of a sprinkled covered cupcake. A large candy covered meteor strikes you exploding with a surprising sugary blast. The yummy taste goes into your tummy and leaves you craving for just one more gummy. 

Cowboy Bark by Percival Brendan Noble the Third
Do you know what a contradiction is? When two complete opposites are somehow merged into one. But of course, one can't exist without the other. Where are the superheroes if there are no villains? And can you be a superhero and a villain at the same time? Yes, yes, you can actually. Opposites can exist as one. A superhero can be a villain. Cowboy Bark somehow combines crunch with smooth, salty with sweet. 

Horseradish Cheddar Potato Chips by Phil
A soft-spoken child with a wild side. A pleasant surprise. An unexpected visitor. The climax to any story. A crunch like the freshly fallen snow on a winter morning, but a heat like a wicked summer day. Sharper than you favorite comedian. Bolder than your favorite superhero, rushing off to save the world once again. I welcome you to my world. I welcome you to try our Cheddar & Horseradish Flavored Potato Chips. Take the dive.



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